In the silence of this morning I considered the question: “What remains to be done?” I am getting more weary as each day passes and I wouldn’t at all be surprised to die during the next twelve months. It is, as it were, the time to ‘put my house in order’. It could also be the time to once again be proved wrong! Either way, it is worth giving thought to what I should now be doing.
Let me first expand a little on where I stand today.
Death for me is the “absence of life”. It is much the same concept as the old Hebrew one of the Spirit of Life entering the body when the child takes its first breath and the Spirit of Life leaving the old man when he breathes his last. God is the Spirit/Breath of life and we “miraculously breathe “– a phrase that became even more meaningful as I sat beside my dear Maggie waiting for her to stop breathing after a massive stroke. Crossan uses the imagery of God as the electricity needed to make his computer work. It’s a good metaphor but I prefer the idea of God as the spirit/breath of life. It is simpler and it applies universally.
What then remains to be done before I die? Very little actually! It goes without saying I hope that I do not see life in terms of “achieving” but in terms of “being”, with Jesus of Nazareth giving us a pretty good example of “being”, and whose words and actions need to be given due attention. Life is not about achieving. It is not even about “loving”. It is about “loving as he loved”, and I hope to depart this life with that much right, notwithstanding that my performance was not crash hot. At least I got the message and didn’t see life in terms of so called “pleasure”. If pleasure be the motivation of life, as it certainly seems to be for many, a continuing supply of drugs seems to be the obvious answer.
Be all that as it may, the essential question facing me now is “What more needs to be done before I draw my final breath?” Two things as far as I can see.
(1) To leave something behind to outline the understanding of life that I have found so helpful.
(2) To dispose of my worldly goods in the most beneficial way. This is a real problem. My father organized it so that I would have the means to do what I wanted to do. My hope is that I might be able to do the same for my children and their children’s children. Testamentary trusts seem to be the way to go but complicates the situation.
All in all, I have lived my life and found it very fulfilling. I am deeply grateful to have experienced “The Breath of Life” and the One who personified it. I have at heart that experience for others.